


raise a white flag and paint it red

by Hecate



Category: Pawns and Symbols - Majliss Larson
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 22:37:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hecate/pseuds/Hecate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In summer, she meets Tirax again. He still hates her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	raise a white flag and paint it red

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine, no money made.

[0]

She stays within the Klingon Empire. Sometimes she thinks that this was her first mistake.

[1]

The blight is a hard enemy to fight even after all the tests, even after Kang accepted the tiniest bit of Federation help. It's hard because the planets are deserts and hells, because winter is coming. 

Because she's a human woman. An outsider, an unwanted saviour. But Jean intends to win this fight. Even if she has to lose another in return.

[2]

Aernath and her are a dream not ready to be dreamed yet. A Klingon and a Federation member in something quite like love. It's not what the universe wants. It's not something anyone wants but them.

They give in. They have to. He leaves.

She stays.

[3]

Peneli is beautiful even in winter, a planet she could get used to if it wasn't for the people staring at her, the whispers behind her back. She has Kang's protection, a shield growing more powerful with the slow success of her own work, but it's not enough to build a home. 

She misses her own planet, the sight of humans, the feel of a Federation uniform wrapped around her body. Sometimes, when she looks up into the sky, she misses space and all its restrictions.

[4]

In summer, she's sent to another hellhole, another planet ridden with sandy soil and the blight. It's hot there, though, and she welcomes it. The spring on Peneli was cool and wet. 

In the bright sun on the edge of the empire, she finally gets warm again. In summer, she meets Tirax again. 

He still hates her.

[5]

"You should have killed me when you had the chance," he tells her. She shrugs. She has no patience to explain humanity to Tirax or any other Klingon. Not anymore.

Instead, she sees him with a Klingon's eyes. "You didn't deserve a warrior's death."

When he hits her, Jean is ready for it.

[6]

She carries more than one dagger these days.

[7]

When autumn comes, the memory of Aernath's eyes has faded away and her body feels untouched once again. She dreams of him and when she wakes up, her hands follow the path the dream has left behind.

She comes without a name tumbling from her lips.

[8]

Another winter, harder than any she’s experienced before. The desert is cold, the winds icy. When she walks over the sand, her feet don't sink into it anymore. It's hard and unyielding.

She thinks about leaving.

And stays.

[9]

She saves Tirax by accident.

He's threatening her, something she became used to in the months that passed, and he doesn't see the living nightmare that breaks through the sand behind him. It's silent, a ghost with teeth and without eyes, and when she throws the knife Aernath sent her, she doubts that it will hurt the animal. But it's enough to distract it, enough to give Tirax the time to turn around and fire.

The thing goes down as silent as it came, a quiet death in the brilliant white of the winter sun. When they walk away from the cadaver, she wonders if Tirax owes her now. She hopes he doesn't.

[10]

He never says thank you.

[11]

Sometimes she's sure that the Klingons on the planet hate her. Sometimes she hates them, too.

[12]

When Tirax steps between her and one of the planet's leaders, she wonders if he's paying her back or if he's as tired of the hatred as she is. If he gave up on it because it's the only thing left to do as long as they're on this planet. 

Because the others know he was sent away by his own commander, know what that means. He failed Kang, and the reasons for it don't matter.

On this planet, he's as alone as she is. And they are the only ones who will ever bother to save the other. She's not sure if that could ever matter to a Klingon. But it starts to matter to her.

[13]

Kang asks her about Tirax in one of the few messages he sends her way. For days, she doesn't know what to tell him.

[14]

Spring comes around and the ice all over the desert melts away. It's a morass for a few days before the desert turns into a garden unlike anything Jean has ever seen before. She spends her days staring at this new world, hands always reaching out to touch something.

One day, she sees Tirax doing the same.

[15]

Tirax walks with her in the mornings now, a hand on his weapon, his eyes scanning the desert for monsters and men. She doesn't thank him, he doesn't speak to her. When they return, the other Klingons are watching them.

They're always watching them.

Jean almost asks Tirax if he minds the stares, but stays silent. She's not sure if she could handle any answer he might give her. She's not sure of many things these days. 

[16]

She still cares about Kang for reasons she doesn't understand; she cares about Aernath because she used to love him. Some part of her started to care about Tirax. Because she can hate him without apology, because he's still the only thing she knows in the world she lives in.

She blames the isolation; she blames Stockholm syndrome, even though it hardly holds true for them. She blames anything she can and tells herself that it will be alright. That it is alright.

She's still glad he's the one who leans in for their first kiss.

[17]

His hands are hard on her body; she draws blood when she bites his lips in a kiss. He curses her with every touch, she laughs in reply. Outside the sun sets in red, an image of blood and fire. Outside the world is still real.

She doesn't love him, he doesn't love her, and there's nothing but heat between their bodies. When he leaves in the morning, she won't watch him. When she kisses him a night later, nothing will have truly changed between them. 

It's the only dream the universe dares to have.


End file.
